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"Welcome to Hong Kong. Passengers from Beijing, pick up your whores on baggage carousel number3. Passengers from Beijing...."

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Jason Varitek celebrates being traded for Prince Fielder.

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"My neighbor, Mike Hunt is missing. Has anyone seen Mike Hunt?"

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He couldn't afford to go to The Playa.

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The Dorkminster Fullerene atom observed in its normal state.

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The "hand on blue cube action" Toby got that day was the most sex he'd had in months.

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"... and my cock smelled like Chiclets for a week."

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"I don't always dive. But when I do, I prefer the belly-flop. Stay obese, my friends."

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Test dummies for The Shocker.

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Which one is the Powerball?

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Native American Idol

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"Hang in there, girls...we HAVE to get rid of these tan lines!"

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"No seriously, Suzette's baby is really ugly."

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The most popular ride at "Six Fags Amusement Park."

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Jim's idea wasn't a good one, but it was a big one.

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Of all the tasks in the obstacle course, the recruits found the Blowjob Barrier to be both the hardest and the longest.

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Why that guy in The Godfather was so upset about the horse head in his bed.